Since the beginning of time when man first went to war, there's an oft-repeated sentiment: "Unless you've been in combat, you can't understand what we've been through."There is truth in this, but the bigger problem is that as a nation, we're very good at speaking about things that don't matter. We know more about misbehaving starlets, than how Joe feels after having come back from a year of taking heavy fire, or how Tom is coping raising three kids while his wife Betty is taking small arms fire in the combat zone. Why? Emotional baggage is heavy, only the hardiest of souls take it on.
Still, those cloaks we defensively don come with bluster often confused with conversation. That's how we end up in impenetrable camps. Examining my own life there's the writer's camp, the military supporters camp, milspouse, moms, fashionistas, gardeners, and yoga camps. All with needs and desires, some unique, but upon examination, crooked paths merge.
Operation HomecomingAs we build our own bridges, what matters is to share our experiences and wisdom ....without judgment. I know, sometimes it isn't fun and instinctively there are times we'd like to don our handy-cloaks. I've been held at bay by pointed end of the yogic spear, feeling hot yoga turn cold as I walked into the studio wearing my husband's Army t-shirt. But there I was. And they had no choice but to accept that I was there. Conversely, I had no choice but to try to believe that each of us were doing our best.
Fear of judgment is what holds people back from telling their stories. It's true, I will never know what it's like to have been in combat. And they might never know what it was like to be me, running to yoga class while my husband was in the combat zone, feeling as though my heart was torn out. Or worrying about what he has seen, and wondering how we will ever be able to live with it.
http://warriorwriters.org
Sigh. Step back. Look at the bigger world beyond ours. That's why we have writing, photography, documentaries, film, painting, poetry, drawing, and performance art. Because avenues of expressing how we feel are not limited to "therapy" groups. Art is an amazing spectrum that can bring like-minded people together, and can reach out to those are curious, and even disinterested.
I recently worked as the military outreach liaison for the war documentary Restrepo. This film combines art, humanity and war, telling the story of the 2/503 Battle Company, 173rd ABN in the Korengal Valley. Restrepo is a film by Tim Hetherington & Sebastian Junger about one platoon, for one year, in one valley who faced some of the toughest fighting at the tip of the spear. Daily firefights that came one after another, the loss of friends, succumbing to and trying to overcome the numbness that seeps in as a defense mechanism. This film is one that speaks to a lot of soldiers, and made many felt that at last, now maybe outsiders could understand what they had gone through emotionally.
While it was hard to watch, one couldn't stop. Because in full view was their humanity. The brotherhood on the screen was nothing short of beautiful and moving in the face of such violence and tragedy.
Get beyond the cloak. See the humanity. This is the purpose of art. Art provides many avenues to help us not only express, but experience other worlds. Art can be the way back to faith, not only to God or some other higher spirit, but also to the faith we must have within ourselves.
Video by Tim Hetherington & Sebastian Junger
Sgt. Jason Mace speaks about his good friend, PFC Juan Restrepo who played his guitar to help his fellow soldiers feel better
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