Wherever You Go There You Are, A book by Jon Kabat-Zinn

"I don't know how you read it. There's too much hatred on that blog," the guy said to me, as we lunched, overlooking a lake.
It was the beginning of autumn, a hint of the cold hung in the air.
I gathered my collar around my neck, pulled it snug and exhaled.
"Maybe it's not what you think," I said.
"No, they're always mad about something. Just too much hate."
"But what if I told you the only reason I could be here today is some of their readers donated so I could attend this yoga conference? That what they want more than anything else is to help veterans find their way?"

The guy shrugged. Sometimes the realization that things aren't what they appear comes at you when you think you know everything.
It happens to all of us.
We're still friends.

When I came into this milblogging world, it was different terrain. Even the sky was changed. It sounded different, the people were covered with dust and action. While there were times I felt like fleeing back to my quieter world of books, editing, reviews and poetry, I knew... here I am, make of it what I can. So I did and I like this world very much.

I've come to see the military world not so much as a different terrain, but as one that completes my other life.

Jon Kabat-Zinn, M.D.

From Jon Kabat-Zinn's book Wherever You Go There You Are

"When it comes right down to it, wherever you go, there you are. Whatever you wind up doing, that's what you've wound up doing. Whatever you are thinking right now, that's what's on your mind. Whatever has happened to you, it has already happened. The important question is, how are you going to handle it? In other words, "Now what?"
Like it or not, this moment is all we really have to work with."

Buy, read a passage each day.

The Gratitude Post: Dust n Roses OK in Kabul. MOH Barney Hajiro. Life In A Day, commonalities on film.

I'm grateful that the blogger known as Dust n Roses is okay, after having experienced the latest explosion in Kabul. A suicide bomber entered one of the few upscale western-style markets owned and operated by Afghans. 8 people were killed in this tragedy. Get filled in on the story of the market on the blog.

I'm also grateful for the life of Medal of Honor Recipient Barney Hajiro.
Mr. Hajiro was part of the much-decorated 442nd RCBT, who fought their way toward the "Lost Batallion" in WWII. He passed away this week. For more information on his incredible feats, and to also see this modest man, check out the Go For Broke Foundation. He died at age 94.

I don't remember when I started writing a weekly gratitude post, but they're an important part of my week. In this month's edition of L.A. Yoga Magazine, Todd Aaron Jensen writes nicely about gratitude. Jensen reports that at UC Davis and UC Berkeley, studies are showing that those individuals who maintain even a casual practice of going down the list they are grateful for a few times a week for three or four months have been measured to be 25%-30% happier than those who don't.

There were obvious things to be ecstatic about, namely the Oscar nomination for Restrepo. However, what the nomination meant is it was time for me to step back and be grateful for all the people who provided guidance for the film to reach a wider audience. Selflessly, they acted as light keepers who lit the way for this very small film.

But there are other things to be grateful for as well, and these are the less spectacular things that shape our daily routine. Nowhere is this shown better than in a new film that was screened live on Sundance. I shared it with several military friends on Facebook. For 1:35, we watched and shared our excitement after.

Life In A Day is a film made by the worldwide viewers of You Tube. Thousands of people uploaded scenes from their life on 24 July, 2010. Clips came in from around the world, detailing everything from street scenes, to people just waking up. Most moving is the young son being woken by a father. The apartment is in Japan, and the first thing you notice is unkempt. Clothing on floor, papers strewn. The little boy goes about getting ready for the day, and it isn't until they go to the small shrine and he hits a metal singing bowl, that you realize the mother is dead. It sets the rest of the story --fills in why the house is a mess, why it's the father waking the son.

It's an exquisite scene, both heartbreaking and beautiful. Life in a Day is filled with moments of tenderness: the Army wife getting ready for a date night with her deployed husband; babies being breastfed. It has rough parts too --a young man being turned down for the possibility of romance, a calf being killed in Milan, a man recovering from heart surgery.

Life In A Day is filled with a small, routine moments of breathtaking beauty. Here's an interview with the widower about why he films his son. Apparently, the film will be released this summer. We'll look for it then. For this, I am grateful.

Blogging Their Own PTSD: Words of Unintended Heroism

Among the many milbloggers, there are two who have written posts about the darkness of PTSD, anxiety and depression. Their admissions stay with me. It can't be easy to put it out there for the public to read, knowing that so many people will rush to judgment. Worse, there are those who will try to misconstrue your intent and threaten to wreck your career.

This week the milblogging community witnessed a venal attack carried out on a soldier who has PTSD by Michael Yon, a blogger who once enjoyed unquestioned support. The attack was venal, and his later insistence that he not bear any animosity toward "that Grisham fella" was disingenuous. This was not an act of compassion. However, Yon and his motives are less important than the impact such attacks have. It's damaging to our community. Stuff like this forces people who need help underground.

By sharing their vulnerabilities, those who write about their emotional lives take a risk. But if if one person comes forward to seek help after reading what they've written, perhaps their words have saved a life, a marriage, even a childhood if the parent with PTSD seeks help, rather than take a final exit.

Among the many, there are two bloggers who have posted about their experiences. One is a soldier with PTSD and still enjoys his active duty Army career. The other blogger is a wife, whose husband died while in treatment for his condition. C.J. Grisham blogs at A Soldier's Perspective and wrote last summer about his descent into an endless and dark void. He was saved by friends who rallied around, and continues to get professional help. By writing about his experiences, C.J. is a fine example for the men he leads.

**Wife (Widow) Of A Wounded Marine** wrote about the mayhem as she and her husband were struggling to cope with his PTSD. Readers were there when she broke the news of his hospitalization and then his accidental death due to a dosage miscalculation of medication. Now, she writes about her journey --one step at a time. Broken-hearted, for sure, it is as she writes, "The year for starting over." Her beloved husband's memory is always with her.

At the trauma sensitive yoga course Dr. Bessel van der Kolk said that various activities involving movement or creative outlets can help us express emotions. Dance, music, yoga, painting, the arts, sports, writing, and talk therapy are activities people can use to make sense of the jumble of thoughts regarding the experiences that have changed them.

Both bloggers breathed in deeply to access a reservoir of courage and faith so they could write about their struggles and triumphs. C.J. and the Marine's widow should be commended, not disparaged. Their words are a sign of strength, not weakness. Every milblogger who writes about their struggles deserves respect. We can only hope more will do the same.

Check out Dr. Bessel van der Kolk's Trauma Center in Boston, devoted exclusively to victims of traumatic stress.

Straight To The Heart: Restrepo Garners An Oscar Nomination For Best Documentary

MSG Caldwell with Tim Hetherington at the screening at Ft. Campell
Making the film was the hard part.
Promoting it was easy (at least for me).
Because for those of us with loved ones in the war, Restrepo was always personal. My husband was a surgeon in Asadabad. The Korengal was a hop, step and a jump away.

In the long, dusty corridors of war with its stale smell of punditry, assumptions, and stereotypes along came this film. It helped us put our thoughts about war into some kind of order. Finally, we saw where our loved ones were, Restrepo added texture to what we already knew. I was the smallest cog in the PR machine, which if you must know --wasn't that big. Think of it as a small, efficient machine, with all the parts working to deliver this film into the bosom of the American public.

When we were very young: Sebastian Junger & Tim Hetherington in Los Angeles, prior to its first screening.
The mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers and friends of those in the fight took this film to a wider audience. Often they took a leap of faith after having only the trailer to go by.

Restrepo was delivered in such a way that Frank Capra could not have written this script. You knocked on the doors of small town theater managers and convinced them to run the film for a day. Often the run turned to a week. You wrote small articles for local newspapers, called radio stations, blogged, Tweeted, and Facebooked it. You delivered not only the film, but your heart, tears and smiles to the conscience of America, widening perspectives, giving voice to a group that few pay attention to, are literally off the radar for most Americans.

Maybe what's been missing in so many of the conversations that often go sour is the voice of the men, women and families who sacrifice on a daily basis. Restrepo has given us a base on which to engage others, not only about our experiences, but also talking about war and peace.

MSG Caldwell, LTC (ret) Franklin, Tonnia Hinshaw, MSW, and Tim Hetherington at Ft. Campbell. Franklin & Hinshaw head the behavioral and mental health clinic.
I know. At times to people outside our circle we seem to be a rough, motley, uncultured bunch. Or that's what they like to assume. But if I've learned one thing since stepping into this world, it's that the military support community is bound by one thing: love.
And that was the secret weapon that has brought this small war documentary to the the Oscars. I'm grateful to all the bloggers, and military troop support organizations for always putting aside your politics, for coming through in a pinch with much needed supplies and support. For always being here. For helping to push this film to the forefront to help those on the outside see that the thing that binds us is just that --love. And to the men who fought, thank you for keeping PFC Juan Restrepo in your heart.
Frances, Mace, Kelso and Hetherington.
Thank you for being the embodiment of Plato's words: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

From the filmmakers:

"We heard the news this morning about the Academy Award nominations - and wanted to thank you all for your support for Restrepo. While the nomination is a recognition of the movie, we hope it's a fitting tribute to those who have fought and died in places like Afghanistan and Iraq. We made this movie because we wanted to bring the war into people's living rooms back home. We hope the nomination will continue to promote an open and constructive dialogue about the war. Thanks again for all your continued support in making the movie a success."

-Tim and Sebastian

Film: Children of Invention. Changes for a mother & two kids.

Children of Invention is a film that will resonate for many families, especially in these economic times. It cuts across all socio-economic, class and racial lines. No doubt my readers with military backgrounds (some of whom have faced tough times, or have seen their friends do so), will find plenty to connect with here. The debut of writer and director Tze Chun, the film was an official selection of Sundance in 2009. Children of Invention is the austere look into the life of recently divorced Elaine, trying to do her best for her two children Raymond and Tina in the face of financial desperation.

There is an immediacy in the framing of each shot. It is intimate, and the viewer is there as a gentle observer, living through the scenes. Filmmaker Chun doesn't waste time with a back story. Instead, he smoothly captures the financial straits the mother is in when she shows up to a sales meeting with worthless vitamins she paid to sell for a mutli-level marketing scheme. It is, as we find out, one of many "programs" she has tried that bears no fruit. The reasons for her not getting a legitimate job come to the surface later in the film.

Chun doesn't resort to sentimentality to drive through the beauty of the children. These kids have been dealt a raw deck, and Chun deftly picks up on the details without being maudlin: their home foreclosed, belongings dumped on the curb, a cupboard full of Cup of Noodles in a model home they're borrowing illegally for a short time. As his mother scurries from one unprofitable venture to the next in hopes for a paycheck tomorrow, she tells her son, "You have to take better care of your sister, Raymond." These words signal an end to childhood.

The strength of the family and the film rests on young Raymond. He is resigned his mother is walking into yet another scheme, "Are we doing this program too?" he asks as they drive away from a meeting. It falls to Raymond to balance his young sister's fairy tale point of view, while telling her the pizza she wants is too expensive, then relenting to buy a single piece for her later. Chun captures their struggle poetically: not over the top, but as if it were in nicely rendered stanzas.

Actors Crystal Chiu and Michael Chen

But there is no fairy tale ending. No one swoops in to save the family. Chun rightly leaves the movie open, as real life is filled with a lot of loose ends and ambivalence. But Chun does leave one loose end tied with a small gesture of love, given from Tina to Elaine.

There isn't just a film about an Asian mother raising her kids alone. It's one about inventiveness, changes of circumstance and perception, desperation, isolation, awakening, and love. It's refreshing to see a more real depiction of asians on the screen, one which reflects a different class, economic group, and familial structure than the stereotypes. The performances of the entire cast, but most especially the children was thoughtful and spot-on. Children of Invention is a story that has lived through the ages. Seeing it now seems appropriate for the times.

Children of Invention is streaming (for free) on Hulu for a limited time.

The Gratitude Post: Dentistry, Shrinks & Friends

Life is full or surprises, not the least of which are the unpleasantries being told your fillings are all falling apart, and major dentistry is needed. This week I ended up the recipient of a root canal, with more work to be done. All I can say is I'm grateful for modern dentistry, and endodontics. Dentistry has been transformed since the days when I was a kid, and each thing seemed to take forever and always involved pain.

This week the Army released its findings of the three-year study on suicide. Each one was a tragedy in the loss of hope and love. But I can't think of any other institution that has studied each death so thoroughly. As I said in my report, if cities were to do this, the dialog about mental health might be further along. I'm hopeful we --meaning all of society, can learn from this. The only thing I was baffled by during the 48 minutes press briefing was no one used the word depression. There are times when they need to call it what it is, and I hope the military does not shrink away from the term. Once people can identify that they're feeling depressed and not be ashamed to admit it, maybe they'll go get help.

There are friends who have such extraordinarily interesting lives, but lead them quietly. My friend Amina is one of these, and she'll pay us a visit tomorrow. Thirteen years ago, she was working on project that centered on Afghanistan, and for the past eight she's been in the Congo. She's recently transferred to Morocco. The DNR was a dangerous place and if she needed medical attention it meant getting on a plane of questionable safety and flying to South Africa. I'm grateful she's out of there, and also thrilled we're having lunch tomorrow. Lunch is always interesting with her. She knows the geopolitical landscape of Africa like no other person I know.

Generals Reveal Findings Of Suicide Study, & The Surgeon's Wife's Critical Eye

"Psychologists will tell you we're putting them (soldiers) under as much stress in a six year period as if they were 80 years old and living their entire life in Seattle, Washington. But what's hopeful is our programs are beginning to work, and our leaders are fully engaged with the problem, and we're getting at the stigma associated with the issue." -GEN Peter Chiarelli

On Wednesday, the Pentagon Channel live streamed press conference led by Army Vice Chief of Staff General Peter Chiarelli with LTG Jack Stultz Chief of the Army Reserve, and MG Raymond Carpenter, Acting Director of the Army National Guard. They went over the data compiled by the Army, National Guard and Army reserves regarding the high number of suicides. The Army started keeping tabs in 2007, and from then to the present, compiled all the cases in a huge study (within 36 hours, the generals were briefed about each suicide). Their data shows that overall, Army suicides in 2010 were down from 2009. However, while the number of active duty soldiers were down, the number of Army reservists and Army National Guard soldiers was up. (In 2010 there were 343 Army suicides total).

According to the study, the outcome for active duty soldiers was comparatively much easier to control. Stress triggers could be more easily mitigated because of assistance from the chain of command, the camaraderie of their peers, and access to Army-led programs on posts. In addition, families had far more information about symptoms, treatment, and knowledge about programs.

But the same outcome is not so easily to control for reservists and those in the National Guard.
These two groups often live far from any military base or even a VA, where programs are available. (Note: most cities rely on a combination of Federal or State funds to run their publicly available mental health services. This amount varies). Reservists and Guardsmen also lack regular interaction from their chain of command, and most of all their peers, who have gone through similar experiences. In addition, these two groups are vulnerable to an adverse economy, plus the currently troubled labor market.

As stated by MG Carpenter, among the Army's finding were:

• There was no single cause for suicide, rather it was a combination of things.
  
• Most of the suicides in the study took place among soldiers who had not yet deployed.
• Most of the suicides took place early in a soldier's career.
• The economy alone could not be pointed out as a reason for a person taking their life.
• Families claim that the Army was something the person had been very proud of.
• The majority were young, white males.
• Over 50% had a relationship problem with a spouse or partner.

The Army has determined that the current programs must be fully extended to the Reservists and National Guard in the areas of residence, and that they must work with a combination of Army, VA, and community services. Chiarelli noted that the bedrock for these two groups is composed of family, peers, and employers. The general public must be made more aware to such issues as the overuse and abuse of prescriptions drugs, understand that there are programs available. In addition, the Army will work on the continued development of tele-help, enriching existing medical care, and forming community partnerships with local agencies. Working with the National Institute for Mental Health (NIMH), the Army has developed the Army STARRS program, a five year study ending in 2014 that will

"look for factors that help protect a Soldier’s mental health and those factors that put a Soldier’s mental health at risk."

Results will be reported as the study goes on, and programs will be modified or implemented as well.

General Chiarelli also spoke about the need for more dwell time between deployments. More dwell time would have a significantly impact upon relationship issues, drug and alcohol abuse, and greatly reduce the stress upon the entire family. In addition, he noted that both Reserve and National Guard commanders needed to keep their thumb on the pulse of employment issues their soldiers were having upon coming home.

The Surgeon's Wife And Her Critical Eye:
While the Army was very good at concretely describing triggers for stress, they did not use the word depression. This was akin to giving a definition without using the word itself. Perhaps they didn't want to couch it in such general terms, but talk about it in specifics.

However, while one may talk about "resilliency training," to not mention depression misses the mark when it comes to expunging the stigma of mental health. In 2008, Dr. Ian Cook, a psychiatrist at UCLA stated that untreated depression is the leading cause of suicide.

"The bottom line is while we can't infer a lot of things about what is causing the trend, I think it (the rise in suicides) cries out for better depression screening and treatment," he said.

It's also important to keep in perspective that nationwide, all ages, socio-economic groups, and both genders have seen an increase in suicide since 1999. In 2010 alone, there were 35,000 suicides nationwide. The Army's 343 suicides signifies less than 1% of the total. However, unlike the other 35,000, this group was studied. The Army undertook interviews with the families, poured over medical records, performing what is sadly be termed as a psychological autopsy. Without a doubt, the suicides are a tragedy, an enormous loss. But for the Army to undertake such a study is a good start and shows resolve to address the problem.

Unfortunately, studies like this are an exception, not the rule. If each county or city were to do the same, the outlook on mental health might be different. As it is, suicides are often unspoken of in our society. A number of years ago, a friend's best friend committed suicide after years of living with bipolar disorder. His family didn't even have a funeral. In another instance, a local 13-year old tragically did the same. Despite his parents putting up a website for him, not much has come of it at a level where teenage suicide is kept track of, and mental health services are being scrutinized and if anything --spoken about in ways that provide actual services.

One group that provides what should be a complementary study to the Army's findings is the National Alliance on Mental Health, or NAMI. Every two years, this dynamic organizations conducts a soup-to-nuts evaluation of mental health services by state. On their site, they grade the states but the overall grade for the nation is a "D." Watch the video by NAMI director Mike Fitzpatrick, who talks about this evaluation.

NAMI's findings about the lack of and difficulty of accessing local mental health assistance mirrors the Army's findings about the remoteness being a factor for the increase of suicides among Reserve and National Guard soldiers. It also is an indication of the uphill struggle the Army faces as it works to partner with VA and local resources. In a time of funding cuts, mental health services is one of the areas that states often cut first. Not only does the public, but all military families and friends need to be made aware of the threat being made to mental health services, as well as keeping tabs on whether or not the insurance industry is increasing or decreasing coverage.

North Orange County Military Troop Support Group

Join using your Facebook Login.
Click this link: North Orange County Military Support Group
Yes, kids...it's finally time to start something that everyone can join. No prior military service required, no political litmus test, just people who want to support those whose friends and family members have or are currently serving.
Read the details by clicking on the link.

Lucky to be at the end of Gervais' pointed spear

Everyone's tense except Ricky.

Wake up this morning and find out that Hollywood publicists are calling the Hollywood Foreign Press Association to complain about the lambasting of their clientele. Last night's awards-show-turned roast by Ricky Gervais at the Golden Globes was a study in how sarcasm, wit, irony and humor in the British vein, doesn't necessarily go over well with a group that prides itself in ahem...both diversity and acceptance. In a predictable move, television critics and commentators are lining up to pan his role as host.

Some played along with taking the piss, though they tended to be those who were raised in either Australia or the UK ( Mel Gibson, Colin Farrell). Others were indignant (Tom Hanks, Tim Allen). True, a little Gervais goes a long way and three hours seems interminably long (next year the show could be reduced to an hour if they just feature the gowns, with names of the winners scrolling by under them). But nothing he and his writers came up with last night, hasn't already been said over Twitter, Facebook or blogs. And sometimes these celebrities have been their own worst spokespersons, bringing greater ridicule upon themselves than the lampooning Gervais dished last night.

If social media has taught us one thing, it's that it has affected the way people call things these days. Gone are the days of total media control --unless of course, you are Facebook or Google. So take a chill, Hollywood. This was the Golden Globes, time to let loose, have some fun, and reflect how lucky you are to be facing the pointed end of Gervais' spear. If your client wasn't roasted, then they were toast in some far away place.

The Gratitude Post: Finding The Other Path

The downfall of the internet is all the buzz, hubbub about issues near and far. What opened our world turns out to be the very thing we must push away when trying to find our own thoughts --not what everyone else thinks, but the very essence that makes us tick. When we get caught up in what's being said about the shootings in Tucson on Facebook, the blogs, or the latest presidential speech; this rush of virtual words, with its obliging verbal cackles, along with hushed tones of sorrow often derails us. This cloud of words can overshadow the things we need to take care of most: family, friends, our homes, our finances, our health, and spirit.

This week was a significantly difficult week to write, let alone think amid the palpable anger from both the left and the right. Everyone had a stone to cast, each person begged to be heard, read, responded to: it was a tautology of desperation. I wondered if what people were really missing in all the online chat was being able to find flesh-and-bone human beings, and a conversation that might take us to softer ground.

For we know the world is a tough place, as from time to time, misfortune pays visits to us all. But just by turning on the internet, it's not difficult to find a pewter platter with a diet of taunts, scorn, and derision. There's no end to the number of tragedies, chaos, sentimentality and mayhem. When it seems overwhelming the only solution is to walk away from the glare of the screen, go outside, wash a few window, grab the dog's leash and go for a walk.

Because there is always a different path --this one underneath the canopy of oaks, the soft earth beneath my shoes, the sun glinting through the blue-grey air and the smell of humus abundant in the shadows. Along the way, we meet people and wave. Sometimes we talk, while sitting on stumps. And while we don't talk about war, shootings, floods, or politics, we might mention the weather. Which if you think about is a fine thing to talk about. While the weather been discounted as trite, it's the great common ground, the zone of politeness missing too often in the virtual world. Suddenly, I don't care about what the man next to me thinks about issue x,y, or z. Besides, bringing it up while under the splendor of the shade of a Sycamore would be not only a non-sequitur, it would be rude and nonsensical.

Today, I'm grateful for finding my way to that softer path.

For Yoga Teachers: Teaching Classes For Veterans or Active Duty

Since returning from Dave Emerson & Jann Turner's teacher training (at Kripalu) for yogis who wish to work with individuals with PTSD, I've had quite a few queries regarding work with veterans. I'm starting with the most asked questions.

Where do I start?
In your own community. While those who served are only 1% of our nation, there are combat veterans everywhere. Don't forget --word of mouth is the best advertisement. Put up a sign in your studio, on your website, and let people know that you are offering classes to de-stress and relax for combat veterans.

Do you know of any Federal funds where I can get paid to run yoga classes?
As of now, no. While there are yoga classes on bases, as well as in VA hospitals, each of them has their own funding sources. However, four million dollars in grants was awarded in 2009 to various entities for research into the effects of yoga and other adjunct therapies that bring patients a sense of wellness and restoration. This is good news, and it means the military medical community is open and willing. Many Warrior Transition Units have already integrated it into their programs. You can read about the Kripalu research program funded by the DOD on Military Populations and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

How can I get a VA job as a yoga teacher, or teach a class on base?
The best thing to do is contact someone at the VA. First, see if they have a yoga program already in place. Then call the person or department in charge. If not, ask to speak to someone in counseling or therapy services, and see if you can stop by and talk about what you can offer. If you want to teach on base, contact the fitness center whose site can usually be found through MWR (Morale, Welfare and Recreation).

Does everyone have PTSD?
No, they don't. Each person responds to combat differently. So don't assume that everyone has either PTSD or TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). Also, their diagnosis is considered confidential information. Whether or not they have either one or both is private and they're not required to share it with anyone.

Where I can I learn more about PTSD?
If you haven't read studies or books by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, pick up Traumatic Stress, The Effects of Overwhelming Experience on the Mind, Body and Society. If you put in 500 hours or more to gain your certification as a yoga teacher, assume that over the years you'll put in as many or more learning about PTSD. No one expects you to be an expert, but the more you learn about PTSD, stress reactions, triggers, the effect it has on the mind, body and spirit, the more you'll be prepared to meet students on their terms.

"Despite the human capacity to survive and adapt, traumatic experiences can alter people's psychological, biological, and social equilibrium to such a degree that the memory of one particular event comes to taint all other experiences, spoiling appreciation of the present. This tyranny of the past interferes with the ability to pay attention to both new and familiar situations. When people come to concentrate selectively on reminders of their past, life tends to become colorless, and contemporary experience ceases to be a teacher. In much of the remainder of this book, we discuss what makes people vulnerable to developing such a fixation on trauma, and what can help them overcome it." -Bessel van der Kolk, M.D. from his book

Watch the film, Restrepo. Purchase the books WAR by Sebastian Junger and the photo book Infidel by Tim Hetherington.

Are there any organizations or people doing this?
There are so resources for teachers. To keep things simple, I'll offer these three:

Former navy diver, yoga teacher and Panama City, FL studio owner, Paul Zipes, started Yoga For Vets. You can join over 200 teachers across the nation who have volunteered to offer veterans four free yoga classes. Add your name, and also talk to your fellow yoga teachers to see if they will too. Paul does a lot for veterans at his studio, and he's a tremendous source of support and encouragement. They're on Facebook too.

Paul Zipes

Sue Lynch, an Army reservist, started a non-profit yoga foundation There And Back ...Again. She also owns a yoga studio in Boston. This reintegration program using yoga and adjunct therapies sets the bar high for others to follow.

Dave Emerson has run a yoga group for Vietnam veterans for five years at The Trauma Center at JRI. He and Elizabeth Hopper, Ph.D. have written a book coming out this Spring: Overcoming Trauma Through Yoga: Reclaiming Your Body.

Do I need any special training?
You should be a certified yoga teacher, and though it isn't in the protocol, you might consider taking a training course aimed specifically at working with veterans: Yoga Warriors, and iRest , and the one I attended by Dave and Jann are but three who offer programs. However, these programs are geographically far away for some, and also expensive. Hence: grow where you are planted. Read the book by Bessel van der Kolk, and also subsequent studies by others. Talk with other yogis who have worked with the population, and talk with veterans and active duty service members as well. And remember, veterans are like any other student --they like to laugh once in awhile as well. Lighten up, veterans are known for their wicked sense of humor.

Are there any other groups?
Contact your local National Guard. Offer to meet with their counseling staff or commander and see if they have any needs. If the unit is deploying, ask if you can offer weekly classes to their spouses and family members. In addition, don't forget there are chapters of Blue Star Mothers, Blue Star Families, and Gold Star Mothers as well. Marine Parents also has chapters across the U.S. Talk to the local VFW, or American Legion and see if they have a space where you might teach a class. If you do a little searching, you'll find groups in your area.

Last word of advice: The military community is much more open to considering yoga and adjunct therapies, than the yoga community is open to cross examining their feelings about war, veterans, and soldiers. Examine any preconceived notions and work them out before embarking on this journey. Leave yourself open, rather than closing yourself off to their experiences and wisdom. And most importantly: do not see these men and women as victims or pawns of some larger political/economic scheme. They are proud of their service.

Both peace and war are very complex issues when it comes to political, economic and spiritual perspectives. While you won't be talking about these things, it won't hurt to peruse the internet and join in on what's being shared through the military blogs. Remember, it's an equal sharing: you're sharing the yogic world, and they'll be sharing theirs with you.

One Can Make a Bad Decision As Well As Two

I'm really tired of these "offers" from Marriot, Hilton and Westin. They invite us to a timeshare vacation where we have the "opportunity" to hear about "investing" in their properties. But there's a hitch: in order to partake, they only want married couples to show up. Not the single household head in which the husband or wife might be deployed. They also don't want single household heads who permanently lead and make all the decisions. No, it has to be the nuclear family: giraffe to giraffe, zebra to zebra.

For years, I've managed a lot of the financial end of things. I made the decision of which house to purchase because my husband was busy in the OR saving lives. I oversaw the books at the office --aided greatly by a book keeper who also makes all the financial decision in her house. Obviously, my husband does make a lot of financial decisions with me, but the bottom line is that we trust one another.

The reason they want both parties there has less to do with discrimination against single households, but to mask the point that timeshares are historically bad investments. And if you're into making money grow, if you want your assets to be more liquid than having to try to sell an oversold timeshare, then you'll already have found lots of swell ways to take vacations to cool places and not lose money. But the truth is, they want to make sure both parties have made this poor choice with their money. I call it the two-idiot rule.

"In 2008 alone, 482,000 timeshare intervals were sold with a sales volume totaling $9.7 billion. And herein lies the rub: When it came to paying for their units, 27% of the buyers paid cash; 19% financed through the developer at interest rates that hover around a usurious 16%; and 16% thought it was wise planning to put it on their credit card. Guess which ones are now swimming in shark-infested financial waters?" -Ann Brenoff, Wallet Pop

After telling Hilton, it wouldn't be possible, they made another pitch: "But doesn't he get a break? Won't he want to come to Orlando or Vegas?" My response was a simple, "No." The truth is most soldiers just want to come home. To see the dog. To get some cat therapy. To bask in the familiar and feel love from family and friends. I ended our conversation with: "If a single unmarried woman with two kids, can't come in and hear your pitch and make the decision, then that's just wrong. After all, a single person can make a bad decision just as well as a married couple can."
But that's my way of thinking. If I owned Hilton, Marriot, or Westin, I'd try to sell to all the people who knew little about financing by showing off as much glitz as I could. Or maybe that's what they're trying to avoid: after all, single headed households have a lot at stake. A lot of the ones I know (both men and women) are way too smart to fall for a sales pitch.

The Gratitude Post: Feeling Like A Teen in the Creative Landscape. Back On Terra Firma

Slide from my keynote presentation

My usual Friday Gratitude Post is a day late.
Each day I awaken with a bit of humility, grateful that I am here. I try to go forward, though some weeks are better than others. I often wish, when caught in turmoil, that a cloak of humility would magically wrap itself around my shoulders to calm me down. You see, at times, even adults feel like teens.

Yesterday marked the first meeting of The Writers' Studio Workshop at the Boys & Girls Club Teen Center. I'd spent an hour or so with a teenage volunteer decorating the room with posters sent to us from Jill of Hachette Book Group and her friends at Penguin Books. The room went from a dusty, dirty, much used space (with a hole in the wall and no heat), to a proper hub for creative efforts --especially after another teen came in to sweep the floor.

4:00 came around, I braved the outdoor area where the teens were having a snack. I felt awkward and conspicuous.

Approaching a group of 14-17 year olds is always a dicey affair. One doesn't want to appear eager, look matronly , or even more disturbing --come across like an aging hipster. Teens can sniff out a phony in a second. After inquiring whether they were going to join me, several already knew today was the day. A migration started from the picnic tables to the classroom.

They seemed dazzled by all the additions to the usually handmarked-walls. Each person took a place at the paint-splotched tables, and sat in a metal folding chair. I reassured them we wouldn't be writing essays or critiques about other authors' works. Sure, I said, they would work hard, but anything worth doing well, takes a lot of work. Even with "natural" talent. They seemed unperturbed, and one by one they introduced themselves.

"I don't know what to say!" said one young girl, after telling me her name and school.
"So, have you any pets? Cats, dogs?" I asked.
"A dog."
"What color dog?"
"Brown, and I love him more than anything!"
"What color eyes?"
Brown
"Do you walk the dog?"
"No."
"Well then, who does that?"
"I don't know!"

And on it went, around the table, until we came to a girl who was gigling hysterically. It went the same way. She too didn't know what to say.
"Have you a dog or cat?"
"Yes." She dissolved into a fit of hysterics.
"What's so funny?" I asked.
"It's her dog too!" she said, pointing at the girl with the brown dog.
"Ah, sisters!" I said.
"Yeah," she said, putting her hands up to her face and laughing even harder.
"Well, this is creative writing class. Feel free to write about owning a white dog or a very large cat."
A student interjected. "You mean, we're going to be writing from our imagination?"
The teens smiled. Now, I had their attention.

Imagine that.

The purpose of the workshop is to introduce them to writing for the fun of it. I think school has a tendency to drill into people what is wrong and what is right. After enough red marks, the students start to give up. The problem is that while teachers are willing to put down a host of rules, they're usually unwilling to admit that every writer has broken them. And so the whole experience for the student becomes whether or not they will pass or fail. Writing becomes just another damned thing they have to do, and usually, they end up hating it. While I will agree that there are ways to communicate more effectively, if someone isn't enjoying the experience, they will never gain the confidence to do it well.

In a matter of time, the students were drumming out beats to words, names, and phrases. They understood that good writing has rhythm, and a well written piece is akin to music. We progressed, and then they were holding the lyrics to Coldplay's Viva La Vida and singing along. A crowd gathered outside the window, watching us, but the teens didn't mind at all.

Suddenly, the cool kids were taking the writing course. We were laughing, dancing and singing. The wall between them and writing was beginning to break down. I can only be grateful they showed up, were willing, and stayed with the class for the entire ninety minutes. The kids will get plenty of trivia, poetry, music, art and even film mixed in with this introductory course on creative writing. They'll be guided to become sharp observers of the details in their world.
I'm grateful to be back on my native terrain.

Facebook Status for War, and Thomas Barnett's plan for peace

Last night on Facebook I started a thread as the result of the insinuation of others that we should attack more countries. When I hear people say, "attack Iran, attack North Korea," I just want to tell them, "My husband is busy enough, why don't you enlist yours and make him do that work?" It hit a core with a few people. While I think wars can bring about positive results, and that war is part of the weft and warp of history and life, this clankety train called "war" has many parts. As the Facebook status indicates at left: "It's Complicated." What's tiring is the assumption that we just call the boys and they'll go with bugles blaring to put things straight. It's not like that.

I let others talk about how-to and what's next parts, but one thing I've seen from my personal experience is the aftercare. It will take tremendous commitment and sacrifice to live up to our promise of providing lifelong holistic care. Meaning, we have agreed to provide mental health, health care, education, and job assistance to all warriors. In addition, we must fulfill our obligation to those with permanent long term disabilities.

In both our group and private medical practices, we helped a fair share of old warriors. They were patients and had served in WWII, Korea, Vietnam, Gulf Wars, Kosovo, Central America, Iraq, and Afghanistan. Some came through okay. Others though, had a host of long term issues. Their stories stay with me, especially those who found sobriety after decades of alcoholism and substance abuse. It was always moving to witness them repackage the experience into an unpleasant memory, and it no longer foreshadowed their day.

So my husband has seen not only seen the tail end of war -30 or 40 years post, but now is seeing the front end as well. Thirty years from now, doctors will still be treating veterans for a broad range of post-combat issues (and not just at VA Hospitals). A war involves a long term commitment. It's not just the "attack" phase, it's so much more. It's one more reason to talk about peace, but not in the sophomoric way that so many try:, "warmonger! breasts, not bombs, pull out and stay out, nation building, murderer!" Such polemics are more of a time suck than war itself. Just as we acknowledge war is complicated, peace is equally so and only comes as the direct result of conflict and sometimes (most regrettably), carnage.

This is probably one of the most interesting videos to watch about a new plan for peace.

"About this talk

In this bracingly honest talk, international security strategist Thomas Barnett outlines a post-Cold War solution for the foundering U.S. military that is both sensible and breathtaking in its simplicity: Break it in two."

A Matter of Manners and Judgment: A Bad Film, An Apology, & A Play

This week, the world was thrown into a nostalgic vortex yearning for the days when scandals, misspoken words, and stupid actions were passed over. Back in the day, a publicist might step forward and redirect coverage, and they spent a good deal of time covering up any evidence of tawdriness. It's not like today, when everything goes viral.

Here are the rudiments of media self-management:

1. If you think something might bite you in the ass later on, could be misconstrued, or that you might have to do a lot of explaining later, maybe the project hasn't been well-planned.
   
2. If you think what you're doing might embarrass your family and make them squirm, chances are you shouldn't do it.
3. If you go ahead and do it anyway, remember the word viral was applied to social media for a reason.
4. If you've done it anyway, don't expect to be treated like an errant teen who has just wrecked their parent's car. One can blame a number of things --bad luck, peer pressure, too much political correctness, too little political correctness, for either having done it or getting the boot, but it doesn't subtract from the fact that poor judgment ruled the day.

This being said, let's look at a few things that happened this week.
First, there's the Captain Honors Film Festival. Too much has been said about this debacle already. A poor decision was made, a career is up in question. Not much more to say except refer to the above and consider bookmarking this site.

Next, R. Lee Ermey issued an apology for his political tirade against the Obama administration during a Toys For Tots event. He's been lauded for what he said, and lambasted for apologizing.

But bringing politics into a non-political event for children is always dicey. I don't think anyone minded (in fact, many agreed), but it was a bit like your Aunt Edna deciding to point out that the bride is fat. If this was his realization, I laud Mr. Ermey's decision. However, he could have apologized by stating that he regretted "bringing his political stance into a charitable event for children." This way his political viewpoint would have stayed intact without any further acknowledgment of it. I appreciate that he felt compelled to apologize and followed through.

As for either Toys For Tots or Geico putting him on the curb --they shouldn't and I don't think they will.
Geico would be very wrong to oust the only man who makes even the gecko stand and salute. As a shareholder of Berkshire-Hathaway, I will write to Mr. Buffett. (However, being that I'm a shareholder who dropped Geico in favor of USAA, I'm not sure how much my opinion will count). And by the way, I certainly understand his frustration about not being able to raise as much as was needed for the Toys For Tots. I hope people will consider giving to them next Christmas. It's really easy. They had a box right at Walgreens, and toys there to buy as well.

Lastly, I was invited to the opening of a play about soldiers that will be opening in Los Angeles. While I am supportive of any creative endeavor highlighting the lives of the men and women who serve, I do wish their PR Team --most of whom have no experience with active duty or veterans, would be more careful with their press releases and play descriptions.

"Joe, a soldier without direction, returns to a childhood haunt on the eve of his return to war. As the night rages on, his friends Greg and Lovey, try desperately to save his life as he descends into madness."

The phrase "descends into madness" is an unforgivable cliché. Their PR writer committed a gaffe by not paying attention to their words. Second, whether or not this is an accurate depiction of the play is unknown. But if it is, the premise sounds way too dramatic and doesn't ring true. Most who go off to war do so with a great deal of gravity, and no one I know has descended into madness the night before. I sure hope it's an inaccurate depiction of the play. A lot of people have put work into this, and they're even collecting supplies for the troops to be donated to a well-known organization.

Words and deeds must be considered carefully. The fall-out is just too great if they aren't.

War Weary? Really?

2011 rolled around, our men and women are still at war, families are building lives on their own, and sadly, media reports indicate the coverage of Afghanistan has dwindled to a mere 4%. The other 96% of the coverage is divided up among celebrities, and network impressions of what is thought to be newsworthy. The shrinking of the newspapers brought the closure of foreign bureaus along with the departure of men and women who had made it their life's work getting to know the nuances of a topic and region. What a change it is today to have to dig somewhere in the middle of the front section to find news about Afghanistan, whereas in WWII, the war took front and center.

In the age where television wasn't invented, news was shared primarily in newspapers, the radio, or on newsreels shown in movie theaters. Because most people probably did not own a world atlas or globe to locate the Solomon Islands, the paper ran a map along with the story. It wasn't just reporting, it was opening up the world to a public who may not have ever crossed their state line. The papers flexed their muscle not only to widen the world to their readers, they also galvanized them toward a common interest.

Yet, today, all indications from the experts are that we are war-weary. From the aforementioned article:

"A lot of people just don't want to hear anything about it, and the media is both a reflection of society and an influence on society," said Bruce Solheim, a history professor who organized veterans courses and programs at Citrus College in Glendora. Advertisers drive the whole thing, so if people aren't tuning in or reading (the media's) not going go with that," Solheim said.

So it's the advertisers who are to blame for not picking up the ball, making war front and center? Given the timing of the downsizing of newspapers, the rise of political polemics, the ascent of celebrities-not-known-for-anything, the war has never been front and center in the news, unless it's to support a political mean.

The American public is less war weary than it is war-uninformed. How many people today --even with technology, can find Afghanistan on a map? Probably less than we know. Politicians appear war weary because time devoted to war takes away from their priority of getting re-elected.

Most of us thirst for news and perspectives --not by pundits who Tweet that their commenters are idiots for writing a typo, but from people who are on the ground. In another time, Tim Lynch, Greg Mortenson, and Sarah Chayes would have been household names covering different aspects of the war. War weariness isn't caused by ten years of combat. Rather, the perception of Afghanistan is that it and and stories of combat are deemed "old hat." In a society that thrives on reality TV, war is an epic. What it requires is journalists, bloggers, and news organizations (as well as advertisers and conglomerates) who don't mind giving themselves to something larger than themselves, bringing the war front and center, not mistaking the bla-bla-bla for getting the story, and putting the pundits who cast the stone of war weariness on the sideline.