Restrepo Wins The Emmy

I knew it had been nominated, knew the date and location. But I couldn't bring myself to focus too much on the awards after our loss at the Oscars. So late tonight, I got word: we won.
It's wonderful, quietly victorious and bittersweet. The PR team did so much work last year in a short amount of time. We coalesced into a permanent bond --which has been made even more so after Tim was killed.

The week after he died, he and Sebastian were due to be honored by the IAVA in Hollywood. Laura, and I didn't want him to go along. Neither did Dan Richardson, a Battle Company soldier. So we met up with him, and the four of us followed each other around all night, as like ducks in a row, or as Dan said, "My little fire team."

I'm blogging a lot at the WarRereat.Org site that I set up to accomodate the War Photographers' Retreat. I've got two great posts up today about Tim. It's a departure from what we usually do (talk about trauma-sensitive yoga, PTSD, etc etc), but Tim will always be a presence. Check out our logo, and see if you can find his name.

Gold Star Mothers Day

First, Today is Gold Star Mother's Day.  We honor the mothers who have lost a son or daughter who died while serving in the U.S. Armed Forces.  Gold Star Mothers was formed in 1928,  ten years after Grace Darling Seibold lost her son, 1stLt. George Vaughn Seibold, in WWI. The office was established in Washington, D.C., where it remains today.

• The Gold Star is the symbol for a family member who has died while in the Armed Forces.
• Despite the current conflicts, more than half of their members are from the Vietnam era.
• When they get together for a public event, they wear white.
• They have chapters in many states. 

Here is their schedule for Sunday, September 25.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

• Everyone is invited for all events:
• 8:00 a.m. Vietnam Wall Wreath Laying with visit to Arlington National Cemetery, Section 60 immediately following.
• 1:00 p.m. Depart for Arlington National Cemetery.
• 2:00 p.m. Ceremony at Arlington National Cemetery (or Ft. Myer Chapel in case of rain).
• 3:00 p.m. Wreath laying at Tomb of the Unknowns.
• 4:00 p.m. Open House at National Headquarters.

Choosing Life Over Facebook

Oh, Facebook. You were fun, but you are like the friend who keeps changing and getting faster, and sharing really stupid things with me (Farmville, Mafia Wars) that I don't really care about. And now.... the the friend is prone to rants and rambles (long status updates in a feed that amount to a solid page of text). The zing has gone out of it.

So I am back here on my blog. I will do more pictures.

9-17-2011

Book Recommendation: Reading New York by John Tytell

"Books are like canned goods stored for the winter. 

We reach for them when an emotional or 

intellectual part of us needs to be fed." 

Often, I receive email from soldiers or family members who want to write a book. They want to know how to get published. But that's not a question I or anyone else can answer without first nudging them onto the path of reading.

As I've written in the past on my other (now inactive) literary blogs, one learns to write well by reading. I'm not going to go into whether or not you should read the classics, or the merits about reading one genre over the other. The truth is, we gravitate to different things, and most of you are not students, but back from war and you want to get your story out. However, remember that we are influenced not only by what we have experienced (and war is at the top of the list of BIG), but also by what we read. So here's my advice: read a lot. Read inside and outside of your preferred genre. Read about things you know nothing about, or read books your friends would never believe you are reading. Why? Well, if you've been through a war, you shouldn't give a damn what anyone thinks if you're reading Alan Ginsberg's "Howl," poetry by Emily Dickinson, along with Lee Child's latest Jack Reacher story.  After all, I only read poetry, Lee Child, and Jane Austen when my husband goes off to war. For this, I offer no explanation.

But by going outside of your preferred genre, you will learn a lot, and stretch yourself as both reader and writer. Since growth is a desired outcome on a writer's path, exploring your own boundaries can be a desirable pursuit.

Well, I guess I could have taken the price tag off.

Right now, I'm thoroughly engrossed in John Tytell's Reading New York. I found this a few years ago, and like so many other books --let it languish in a pile. I tell you this because it happens to everyone, and there's nothing wrong with it. But books are things we collect, anticipating that one day we'll need them.  Books are like canned goods stored up for the winter. We reach for them when an emotional or intellectual part of us needs to be fed. Hence, Reading New York is the transition for me back to the writing I love, the type of writing that I have been absent from since War strutted onto my sofa and took up a permanent space.

John Tytell presents us with an opportunity to remember. Where were you when you read a particular book? What were you experiencing, and what revelations occurred to you when reading it, and how did they influence the path you're on?

Tytell, an English professor at Queens College, and an author of many books,  gives the reader a wonderful literary map of his own life, shows us what he was doing and experiencing while he was discovering Whitman, Poe, Henry James, Henry Miller, Kerouac and many others. He gives us insight into their lives, making them human by showing us parts of their lives that formed how they thought,  taking away the barriers that sometimes form as the result of being rushed through their works in a high school or college course. There's no test at the end of this book, so reading it is pure pleasure.

New York City is the backdrop for the writers, and Tytell himself.  The city is a lifelike presence, changing over the centuries, alternately the bane and savior for many a writer. We see Tytell's understanding of the city changing as he goes from Poe to Kerouac, ultimately finding the space he desires (at least on the weekends and the summer) in a cottage in Vermont. There's much to be admired about this book --the fine writing, the making of such icons of literature into beings we can relate to. At the end, I wanted to read more but life goes on beyond the end of a book.

For those of us who suffer under the cacophony of social networking, tire of the bluster of blogs, are wary of the seduction of a Facebook "Like," Reading New York takes us to the fertile ground of reading and writing. This is the stuff that fuels our imagination, softens the world, and reveals a perspective to help us catch our breath and continue forward.

On Healing: A Mother Finds Soft Ground

Note. Lt.Col. Paul Fanning recently retired as the head of Public Affairs for the NY Army National Guard. Paul and his team at the NY Army National Guard, and also the event planning staff at the NY State Museum, were instrumental in planning for the screening of the war documentary Restrepo in Albany. It was the best screening of the film (something I hope to repeat with them on a different project some day). Subsequently, we met at Tim Hetherington's memorial in NYC. Paul was also a participant at our recent War Photographers' Retreat in Cambridge MA. These are his thoughts written to me on 9/11/2011. With his and Vicki DiMura's permission, they're being shared here.

By Paul Fanning

Kanani –Enjoyed reading your entry about the retreat. I’ve been telling people how great it was. I am sharing this photo that was sent to me last week. The woman in the shot with me is Vicki DiMura, the mother of the late Sgt. David Fisher. The shot (below) was taken on July 2 at her wedding reception. She is remarried and has moved from NY to CT.

Vicki was one of the mom’s I helped as best I could after the death of her son in Iraq in the fall of 2005. Shortly after I came home from Afghanistan at the end of 2008 I met her at our state headquarters and she told me that she had just been hired by our Family Program Office for our Yellow Ribbon Re-Integration Program.
She gave us her son and then wanted to help us — help other military families re-unite after a deployment. She was a blessing beyond words and all of us there benefited from her efforts and what she taught us about healing and growing. I had many conversations with her from Feb 2009 through June 2011, while she worked at the state headquarters.
Her son was painted by Texas artist Phil Taylor of the American Fallen Soldiers Project. I told her about him in 2009 and I made sure to include her in a number of efforts and special projects as we could. We also featured her son and his service in the museum exhibit in Albany in 2010.
To see her expression and know that she is happy again and in many ways fulfilled means a lot to me and all of us who know and worked with her. I remember how it was for her back in that dark period only a few years ago.
Healing and growing is possible and this is what the photo means to me.

On Moving Forward: "Freedom is not safety, but opportunity."

After WWII, many students and graduates from Harvard's Law School did not return. The names of the men who died in service are engraved over the entrance of the Treasure Room in Langdell Hall of the Harvard Law Library. This is the dedication, and it's something for everyone --most especially those who are returning home from these present wars, to hold and remember.
Click to bigify:

"It is for us to carry on the work they were not permitted to complete."

9/11: On Kindness

I'm sharing this photo taken last week, when I was waiting for my flight to take me home to L.A. from the eastern seaboard airport shutdown caused by Hurricane Irene. That's my bag, purchased from a surf shop many years ago. It's a favorite because no one else would want it. The flip flops, the surf bag --it's my frame of mind as I write this.

I'm thinking about a flurry of small mindedness, cynicism and meanness seen on the internet directed at friends, and even a spate of it sent to me. People forget that a medium which brings  people together,  has the same potential to be used to castigate and harass.  There's little to do when a virtual "friend" acts like a rabid dog.  One thing for sure: you really can't get involved with their own self-loathing. Life is far too short for that.

Anyway, I'm supposed to write how 9/11 changed everything for me. But it's too self indulgent, being that as a long-time blogger, I've done that before. So all I can come up with is a lesson learned from it, that enables me not to engage with the bullshit described above.

Hopefully, what 9/11 did for many of us was help us find the courage to tap into a reservoir of kindness at times when we just want to run away and hide from someone in need. Simple things. A nod, a smile, maybe a kind word, or donating --as so many of you do, to causes and needs. Kindness can also mean knowing what not to say, or being wise enough not to start a tornado where none needs to be. Frankly, I think kindness is a great way to honor those who died that horrible day, and also to all those who have sacrificed whether by serving in the military, working as a contractor, or staying home and doing good works for everyone affected by war.

It's a small thing. But as the ultimate New Yorker, the late Brooke Astor once said in an interview: "It's much easier to be nice to everybody. It makes your life much much easier, if you are pleasant."

The fabulous Brooke Astor

Help is available. Pass Around. Post. Tweet.

How Yoga-Doers Can Help In A Time Of War

War Retreat Co-Founder Dave Emerson (center) with War Correspondent Dave Tobin, and Former NY Army National Guard Public Affairs Officer LTC (ret) Paul Fanning

This summer was spent co-founding and organizing the War Photographers' Retreat. It was the perfect project for me, being that it allowed me to work through the loss of a friend, and also implement taking a community-based approach in regards to the outcome of war. I'm going to nail down my perspective on community events as they pertain to yoga-doers, but first I'll give some background on the retreat.

Kulae

The War Photographers' Retreat was held in honor of Tim Hetherington. It was spearheaded by David Emerson, who for the last decade or more has taught yoga to survivors of complex, chronic, post traumatic stress disorder. This includes veterans, children, adolescents and women. His work in Brookline MA with Bessel van der Kolk gives Dave a front row seat into research being done that gauges the efficacy of yoga use in the treatment of PTSD. His work alongside with clinicians is invaluable, and he spreads his work by offering training at Kripalu, as well as sharing it with communities in need in the greater Boston area. 

Our  retreat was 25-28 August in Cambridge MA. We were fortunate because "big" yoga signed on, offering us free stuff to give to our participants. It wasn't so much that they sent us things, it was finding out that they were interested in our work with war. This was very very exciting to be able to share our work with Kulae, Jade Yoga Mats, prAna, and China Gel. We hope they will continue to follow us.

prAna

We were persistent, but low key in getting people to come. It was the right approach, because we ended up with  1 Pulitzer Prize Winner,  4 Correspondents, 1 former translator, the widow of a slain journalist, and the former head of the NY Army National Guard Public Affairs.  We also had on staff, a Vietnam Veteran, the girlfriend of a Marine (who happens to be the nation's youngest certified trauma-sensitive yoga teacher), and an Army wife.

The retreat offered 4 full days of yoga and acupuncture, as well as massage.  However, it ended early because of Hurricane Irene. While Boston wasn't in the path of Irene, the cities where they all lived --were. Still, we were able to get in 2.5 days of yoga, acupuncture and massage. Most went back Saturday morning, catching the last Bolt Bus from Boston to NYC, while others engaged in a morning yoga class and massage and left later that day.

Despite weather issues, what I want to point out is our group was a community of persons affected by war. This camaraderie was invaluable for instilling not only good will, but a level of understanding. It wasn't just veterans, nor girlfriends, or solely journalists. It was a mixed group --much like what you'd find in any town.

Granted, working on this stuff isn't going to be everyone's gig. But as we go into year ten of wars and an increasing number of yoga-doers look for ways to help, it help to refocus thoughts of war to include a broad range of people --contractors, caregivers, veterans, human rights workers, journalists, widows, family members in their perspective. Seeing them as a community helps to break down the impression that war is something "other people" experience.
Of course, along every path is an immutable rock. There will always be yoga-doers who have such strong political points of view, they refuse to put them aside. The person who views offering yoga to those who serve as colluding with the 'military industrial complex' and then buries his nose in his mat, is saying, "It's their fault they chose it, not mine." This person has ceased to see the value of human life and ignores human suffering. People who think this way should probably watch this instructive video. Regardless, you should spend little time on them because they're not thinking.


But PTSD becomes a community issue when the person hired, can't come in because he or she has experienced a triggering event and loses the job.  It's a community issue, when the person has difficulty fully engaging in being a parent or spouse. The fall out from war is closer than we think.

We also have to steer yoga-doers away from assuming large institutions like the VA will take care of it all. At the trauma sensitive yoga training I went to last year, the #1 question yoga-doers presented was "How do I get into the VA?"

The truth is, most people will not. And when you consider many VA hospitals are 2 or more hours away from where a veteran lives, the question becomes irrelevant. The question should be reframed to:

"What can I do in my community for those who have gone through the experience of war?"

Taking this community minded approach is the way things should be going for the next ten years, as more service members come home and transition back into "normal" life. Involving as many people as you can to help design and implement these programs on a small or large basis is part of the community-based approach.

There are many organizations that take a community approach. Navy veteran, yoga teacher and studio owner Paul Zipes founded Yoga For Vets.   YFV lists yoga studios who agree to give four free classes to veterans of war in their community. The key: in their community. Not at the VA 2 hours away, not happening at  Walter Reed, which is 3,000 miles away. But in their own town.


Other organizations provide training, or even a model upon which to base your own event. Check out Sue Lynch's There And Back ...Again.  Sue effectively serves as a yoga beacon for veterans in the Charlestown and greater Boston areas with monthly workshops combining body work and yoga. In addition, There And Back ...Again is out there when they have job fairs and housing meetings in regards to veterans.  Both organizations know that doing things where you live, often offers the higher paybacks.